Monday, November 29, 2010

Love and Logic Pearls of Wisdom

We have all been there.  You say something like "Don't make me come over there."  As soon as it is out of your mouth you realize what in the world does that mean and what am I going to back it up with.  Knowing that feeling in that moment, I loved the idea of enforceable statements with Love and Logic.  I will admit that I carried around a little note card at school with some of the statements written down.  My brain doesn't ever run on 100%.  Just this weekend Lydia and I were at a coffee shop, after spending 5 minutes digging in my purse for my keys.  Lydia says "Mama are you looking for your keys that next to your coffee."  So I know that in the moment of wanting to make an statement to get 23 students attention I needed to have it right there with me.  I am proud to say that note card, although still close by hand on my desk, is not carried with me anymore.  The more you use these statements, the more they work and the more you internalize them.  Here are some examples from the Love and Logic conference I attended at the beginning of this month.

      Statements for school
"I'll listen when your voice is calm"
"You may play when there is no name calling."
"I take classes to recess when they can walk quietly in the hall."
"I grade papers that are handed in on time."
"I allow students to remain with the group when they aren't causing a problem."
"You may join the group when you are calm."

      Statements for Home
"I give treats to kids who protect their teeth by brushing."
"I charge two dollars a minute for listening to bickering in the back seat."
"I love you to much to argue.  I'll listen when your voice is calm."
"The car is leaving in 10 minutes.  Will you be going with your clothes on your body or your clothes in a bag."
"I will be happy to do the things I do for you around here when I feel treated with respect and the chores are done."

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